The back story . . .
When Lucy was born nine years ago I gave up my yoga studio in Vermont and moved back to Maine. I’ve been a nomadic yoga teacher ever since. Over the last nine years I’ve taught in at least a dozen different studios from Portland to Eastport. I taught a Monday evening class in Belfast for a few years but finally ended it when I was having trouble staying awake on the drive home. I taught a Wednesday evening class in Ellsworth – and enjoyed that drive home much more thanks to WERU’s Drive Thru and Carlton’s local humor. I stopped teaching evening classes that required a longer commute sometime after the black ice episode when I slid off the road on the way to class and had to have my students come rescue me (thanks John and Anita!).
Bringing together the power of yoga and Pilates
Four years ago I was having a hard time finding a yoga class that fit my schedule so I wandered into Wendy Hay’s Pure Pilates studio to see what going on. I was perplexed by Pilates – why would one want to do 50 mins of sit-ups? But Wendy’s easy laughter, precise teaching and clean space quickly became addictive. So did getting stronger. It turns out that many of my aches and pains were coming from being too flexible and Pilates helped me maintain my mobility while greatly increasing my stability.
Then, a year and a half ago Wendy decided to take on a new baby (her boutique store Mae) and I decided to take a Pilates Mat training course in hopes of maintaining our group’s weekly practice. And over the past year I have done just that and while I can’t duplicate Wendy’s expert class rhythm, I’ve enjoyed integrating the anatomy and alignment I’ve learned from my 20 years of teaching yoga.
A permanent home
When the lease for the studio became available last month it seemed like an obvious place to anchor my weekly classes. No more shlepping mats, forgetting the box of class-cards, squeezing my classes in around other people’s schedules or remembering which key unlocks which door!
I am very happy to claim Mountain Studio as my home base. It’s nice to have a permanent home for my yoga and Pilate’s props and of course my reformer, and it’s wonderful to finally have my own space for private lessons.
It’s been a bit of a whirlwind and it will take another month or so for me to pull together some of the stray pieces (website, signs . . . ), but my new weekly classes are already filling up. I’m also excited to have new class offerings from other teachers coming soon (make sure you’re on my email list to hear more).
Now, a quick note about next week’s schedule – the girls and I are headed to Fiddle Camp (for Lucy’s ninth birthday!) so I will be out of town June 14-19. However, Lane Lucas (who attended the Pilates Mat training course with me) will be teaching the Pilates Mat class on Tuesday and Thursday morning, and Jerome will teach the Monday evening yoga class. The Wednesday morning Creative Core class and Thursday morning beginning yoga class will be cancelled this week. I will be back to teaching the regular schedule on Saturday June 20th.
I am looking forward to sharing Mountain Studio with you, be sure to come by if you are in the area.
I’ll be leading my 7th annual Spring Cleanse April 17- May 7, 2016. I still call it a cleanse, even though the word shift would be much better.
I wrote this post last spring to address the reason why the term cleanse is misleading.
The whole idea of cleansing and detoxing is off-putting to many people. Not just because anyone with a science background can tell you that the human body is well-equipped with natural and effective detoxification pathways and that these pathways work whether you will them to or not and that purposely speeding up or otherwise enhancing these pathways is neither necessary nor helpful to your health. But also because the yoga world of cleansing and detoxing has become enmeshed with the less than healthy world of fasting, rapid weight-loss and body-perfection (read this funny and sadly accurate post about “Thinspiration” on yoga-beast.com)
So about the first point, yes, it is true, your liver works 24-7, performing 500+/- complex biological functions, including moment to moment detoxification. Your kidneys are amazing detoxification/elimination organs too, as is your colon, and to a much lesser degree, your sweat glands and lungs. Daily detoxification is like doing the dishes, sweeping the floor and putting away your clothes. It is a necessary daily task that keeps the system running smoothly.
About the second point. Fasting, cleansing and detoxing are indeed marketed as a body-positive way to loose weight while also getting that slim, fresh-eyed, yoga-glo look. But having tried so many of these (juice fasting, raw foods, sawdust and moss . . .) I can tell you that no rapid-weight loss plan is body-positive or healthy. Juice fasting and/or nutrient and calorie restricting “cleanses” can seriously mess with your metabolism (which takes weeks if not months to recover from). In addition, these fasting detox diets don’t help you develop real-life eating and relaxation skills and they can seriously undermine your own body-wisdom and self-esteem.
Over the last decade I have come to understand that the “cleanse” that most of us need most of the time is a simple, nutrient dense rest and renewal. What we need are a few weeks to remember how good good food tastes and we need a little structure and support to get us back on the vegetable wagon. New, simple recipes, new spices to inspire us and a menu plan to help us prepare more meals at home. A few guidelines to help cut out the junk calories and stimulants so our organs and glands can get a break. That’s it. You might loose weight, you might not. You will very likely feel better either way.
House cleaning versus house resting
It’s not that you need to do more housecleaning. Most of us can get away with several months (even years) of cursory daily house cleaning before the ring around the toilet bowl or the dust bunnies under the bed seriously impacts our quality of living. But if a cursory pick up is all we have the energy for at the end of the day then when do we repair the broken chair leg or the clogged toilet?
A healthy body follows a similar strategy. Regular daily detoxification cleans up most of the mess. If all goes well we get sick once or twice a year and feel pretty good in between. We sleep soundly and feel rested in the morning, our skin is clear, our elimination is regular and our mood and energy patterns are stable.
But if we don’t take regular breaks from the common stressors in our life (diet and lifestyle) we leave little time for restoration and repair. Over time we start to feel the effects. Our digestion gets cranky, we get sick more frequently, our joints ache, our breath smells . . .
A good cleanse is a good break
And that’s when a seasonal cleanse can help. Ideally a Spring Cleanse and Sugar Detox is a way of taking the load off your system so that not only can your body perform it’s normal, natural everyday detoxification, but it can also start to repair and heal your otherwise neglected gut, skin, hair and joints.
The less stressful a cleanse is, the more repair can happen. That’s why my cleanses provide an easy to follow, satisfying, anti-inflammatory diet complimented by stress-reducing daily practices. That’s also why I don’t use a one-size-fits all approach. For some simply eating three regular meals a day is a huge relief for their system, while for others that schedule feels too restricting and causes a good deal of hunger-fear – which totally defeats the purpose. Some love the comfort and simplicity of a Kitchari monodiet while others gag at any mention of the K word.
Probably the biggest obstacle I face when leading my group cleanses is convincing people that it’s ok to make and follow their own rules. We have been trained to rely on experts and we’ve lost trust in our bodies and our own wisdom. It’s tricky because external boundaries and rules are helpful for getting us back on track until we can start to feel our own way again. So yes, my cleanses include rules – they are the rules that I have found help most people feel better most of the time. They are rules to help get you oriented, to provide structure and support, to free you up. They are not meant to be permanent, punitive or self-limiting.
Clear the way for self-empowerment
There you have it, my cleanses aren’t about cleansing or detoxing. I mean, those things are going to happen – if you’ve been eating a lot of sugar or drinking a lot of coffee and then you suddenly stop doing those things, you will trigger a natural detoxification response.
But really, my cleanses are about taking the load off. They are about reducing the “noise” of inflammation and reactive mucous so you can start to clearly feel and hear your own body’s wisdom. They are about exploring how you respond to different stressors in your life and giving yourself the time and perspective to shift those things as needed. I believe that you know exactly what you need to do, and my job is to help you hear it.
If this sounds good you can read more about my upcoming Spring Cleanse here.
(It’s ok to skip the words and scroll down to the pretty slideshow . . .)
Why the desert?
Jerome and I met in Colorado 15 years ago and soon after we went on our first backpacking trip together to the Maze in Utah’s Canyonlands followed by a road trip around Utah and Northern Arizona. We fell in love with slick rock and desert (and each other) and have always wanted to go back to explore more. So, this February we took the kids and headed west for nine days of High Desert and canyon exploration.
“But camping with kids seems so hard!”
The most common thing I’ve heard from my friends since I starting planning this trip is “I could never do that with my kids (and/or spouse)!”. And I understand what they mean, because parenting in a house with a roof and a refrigerator is hard enough. What really helps in my case is that in my pre-mom life I was an outdoor educator and Wilderness EMT and so I am very comfortable in remote areas. Actually, I am more comfortable camping than staying in a hotel, and Jerome will tell you, I’d much rather pee on the side of the road than in a restroom. I have the skills to keep us warm, safe and well-fed in a wide variety of conditions. In addition, before we got married we hiked 2,500 miles of the Continental Divide Trail together- whatever disputes we may have had about how to pitch a tarp, cook pasta, or stuff a sleeping bag are well behind us. Camping for us is a regular, comfortable routine with minimal spousal dispute (unless it comes to getting lost and needing to ask directions . . .)
Turning kids into willing backpackers
As a family we have built up our camping routine slowly – and you can too. We started by sleeping outside in our front yard or friends yards when they were only a few months old. When they were 2-3 years old we graduated to nearby state parks. Over the years we’ve established little rituals, like who sleeps where in the tent, how to pee and poop in the woods and how to be careful around the camp stove. By the time the girls were 3 and 4 we started taking them on canoe camping trips to nearby lakes, and motorboat overnights to islands in Blue Hill Bay. This gave us the freedom to bring more gear without having to carry it on our backs. As a rule, the more confident and experienced you get, the less gear you need. Once everyone can consistently keep themselves warm, dry and fed, back up clothing, food and gear becomes optional.
Planning an Adventure
After a summer of trail running and hiking the girls seemed strong enough for a more strenuous backpacking trip.
The first thing I needed to do was find a cheap way to get the four of us somewhere warm enough to camp during February school vacation. I lucked out and landed a great deal from Boston to Las Vegas – on Virgin Air no less!
Next up, I applied for a backcountry camping permit at the Grand Canyon. It’s kind of a fun, antiquated reservation system where you mail or fax the Park a trip-leader application with your desired dates and camping locations. Supposedly, to beat the crowds, you need to send your fax in on the morning of the first day of the sixth month prior to your desired trip date. After figuring out what that even meant, I was disappointed to discover that I was several weeks past the magical date. I sent in my application anyway and hoped for the best. Fortunately it turns out February is not a popular month to camp in the Grand Canyon. Maybe because it is winter? The Park sent me a permit about a month later with an ominous note saying that because of trail work, there might not be water at the campgrounds. They also included a trail map with elevation totals. It looked like our hike would be similar to hiking down Katahdin in one day and back up in two days. That seemed doable.
The next thing I did was what any ultra runner would do. I searched for trail races in Arizona in February. Ding ding ding! I found the perfect race, Ultra Adventure’s Antelope Canyon 55k in Page, AZ and on the final weekend of winter vacation. I signed up and several days later casually mentioned to Jerome that I might want to run a race to celebrate my 40th birthday . . . Thankfully he’s either the most supportive or most resigned runner’s-spouse ever – he didn’t even blink.
Thus, the next obstacle was finding a cheap rental car. I always opt for the smallest possible ride because I’m stubborn that way. I view cars the way light-weight backpackers view packs. The smaller it is the less you can bring and the easier your life will be. This is more true in theory than reality, especially with kids. [Fortunately when it came time to pick up our car, the guy behind the counter saw Georgia and Lucy fighting over who would pull the luggage in the cart and kindly gave us a free upgrade to a Mazda 5.]
With packing economy in mind I honed in on our gear. I told the girls they could bring 2.5 outfits (in case you’re wondering, a skirt counts as a half, a dress as a whole) and this had to include their camping clothes. We made a gear checklist and Lucy assigned each family member their own color check mark. You can find a complete annotated version of the list we came up at the bottom of this post, and here’s Lucy’s original Camping Checklist.
Keeping it light is harder with kids!
When Jerome and I thru-hiked we kept our pack weight between 15-25lbs depending on the weather conditions. Each day of food added about 2lbs, and since we often carried 4-6 days of food at a time our packs rarely exceeded 35lbs. But with kids our packs have swollen in weight and girth. In order to keep the kids’ packs around 10lbs we parents would each need to carry two sleeping bags and two sleeping pads, plus the bigger tent and extra dishes.
No matter how well prepared we are, there’s ALWAYS last minute craziness
I had to make several last minute gear repairs including relocating the spider family from my ancient backpack, patching a thermarest (after submerging it in the bathtub to find the leak) and sewing up the huge rip in our four person tent that I ordered on clearance from The Clymb (you win some you loose some . . .) Our living room was a total disaster the night before we left. Mostly because trying to organize anything in the middle of feeding, dressing and getting kids to school while keeping yourself presentable for work and fitting in one last training run is a painful experience done best with a bottle of wine nearby.
The afternoon we were supposed to drive to Boston we realized that we hadn’t yet shoveled the 4 feet of snow off our roof. So when Jerome got home from work he spent the last two hours of daylight on the roof while I dragged in several loads of firewood so our neighbors could keep the fire going if the power went out. The kids focussed on enthusiastically preventing the cats from making a last minute escape into the -10 degree snow covered wasteland that surrounds our house. Finally, at 6pm, we headed south to Boston and made it to our park-and-fly hotel well before midnight.
The next morning we squeaked out of Logan just before the next big storm and soon found ourselves under blue skies and flying directly over the Grand Canyon!
In the end all the planning combined with incredible good luck weather-wise made for a wonderful and unforgettable family adventure. We camped free on BLM and Forest Service land, ate from a cardboard box stocked with all kinds of yummy things from the Natural Grocer in Flagstaff and completed an excessive number of Junior Ranger programs.
For a visual tour of our trip I made this slideshow. Enjoy!
For a full race report filled with lots of nice photos of the course, check out Fast Cory’s page.
The Annotated Gear List
___ 1 Short sleeve synthetic or wool shirt
___ 1 base layer (Synthetic or thin wool long sleeve shirt and pants. Often found on Sierra Trading Post or Campmor websites for less than $20 per set.)
___1 Light-weight fleece layer (Shirt and pants. Ours are all hand me downs, but are also often found at second hand stores)
___ 1 pair shorts or skirt.
___1 set rain gear (Jacket and pants. These are annoyingly expensive and hard to get as hand me downs because they don’t age well – I get the ones from L.L.Bean because they are light and comfortable and provide good warmth for their weight).
___ Warm Hat with ear coverage
___ 1 pair light weight fleece gloves or mittens.
___2 pairs socks (wool or synthetic, cotton is blister prone and don’t wear as well in the wild)
___ 2 pairs underwear.
___ 1 sun hat. Light weight visor or ball cap.
___1 pair shoes (my kids are barefoot all summer – even on our mountain hikes, so I know their feet and ankles are strong enough to hike long distances in lightweight sneakers. The bonus is no blisters and a much more agile, less tiring gate than you find with boots).
___1 pair “camp” sandals. We brought our homemade Xero sandals to avoid stepping on cactus spines and scorpions.
___ 1 set of light weight, unbreakable bowl and cup (we love our silicon bowls from Guyot Designs, they are a little on the heavy side but totally indestructible and I swear, Georgia loves hers so much she will eat anything you put in it.)
___ 1 small spoon. Any small spoon will do. Leave the fork and knife at home.
___1 sleeping pad. The girls use our old ¾ length ultra light thermarests, but we’ve also found that once they fall asleep, they’ll stay asleep on any surface and you can steal their thermarest out from under them, if say, yours deflates in the middle of the night . . .
___ 1 synthetic (not cotton) sleeping bag. Ours kid’s bags are mummy bags good to 20 degrees. Basically, the cheaper the bag the bulkier it is (taking up most of your pack) and the heavier it is. So it’s up to you, the parent, to decide how much of your kid’s gear you want to carry and how much you’re willing to suffer versus spend.
___ 1 head lamp or small light weight flashlight.
___ 1 quart water bottle. It was an investment, but the girls like the Camelbak kind and I do to because I don’t have to get their water out of their pack for them every 5 mins.
___ Camera (one between the two of them)
___ Backpack. Finding a good, affordable kid’s backpack is not easy. School backpacks aren’t the best for multi-day trips because the straps tend to made of thick, stiff, shapeless foam that does not feel good on little shoulders after a few miles. They also tend to be heavy and bulky and lack the structure needed to distribute the pack’s weight up against the kid’s body where it will be most comfortable. That said, kid’s don’t need a huge fancy pack. In fact, smaller and simpler is probably better because it will keep them from carrying too much. We lucked out and with a little help from a friend the girls got to demo a pair of very cool Vaude 15 Liter Minimalist packs. This model isn’t specifically made for kids, but it’s smaller size worked well for them. The top flap pocket has two zippered compartments which made it easy for the girls to store their snacks and cameras where they can get to them. We appreciated how simple and light these packs are and they will fit the girls even better next year. The girls appreciated having “real” backpacks, and we all know the more a kid looks the part, the more they act the part.
In addition to the same list of personal gear, Jerome and I also bring:
___2 stacking ~1qt titanium cook pots and lids (left over from our thru-hiking days).
___ 1 butane/propane camping stove, because we find with kids we need to be able to drink vast quantities of tea while camping and we don’t want to mess around with cranky stoves (alcohol, white gas, tin cans, whisper heavies etc . . . ) We carry one 8oz container of Isopro fuel for three days of camping. FYI – you can’t bring filled fueled canisters on the plane – we picked ours up Peace Surplus in Flagstaff.
___ 1 stirring/serving spoon (also serves as my eating spoon). Metal so it won’t melt.
___ 1 four person tent. We like ours, it is simple to set up but compared to our home made 2 person tarp-tent (made of parachute cloth) the tent is heavy and takes up a lot of space in our packs. We’re going to experiment with sewing a 4-person tarp-tent this summer.
___ 1 ground cloth (a piece of Tyvek cut to fit the shape of our tent’s footprint).
___ First aid kit. Fits into one pint sized ziplock: Bandaids, sports tape, gauze, alcohol wipes, steristrips, second skin and tweezers. You can do a lot with sports tape and gauze.
___ Water sterilizer. We use one of the smaller, simpler Steripens.
___ ½ liter metal thermoses. Because we really like our hot drinks.
___ Simple knife – with one blade and a can opener
___ Sports Bra
___ Small plastic comb
___Small container face soap – because it feels really good to wash your face at the end of a dusty day.
___ Small container face oil – because the desert air is cold and dry!
___ Dental floss – endless possibilities.
___ Cellphone/camera. Keep on airplane mode unless you want battery to die before your trip is over.
___ Small LED lantern – to hang from tree or tent so kids don’t have to wear headlamps and therefore won’t continually blind adults with their highbeam.
____ Spices. A few small baggies of spices go a long way to making camp food edible. We bring a few teaspoons of salt, pepper, cinnamon and curry powder from home so we don’t have to buy big containers once we’re there.
Register now for Wild Open Heart’s 21 Day Sugar Detox and Spring Cleanse
In Wild Open Heart news, I will be teaching several classes over the Holidays, be sure to check my class schedule to see where when.
Move Your Body
Balanced action, it’s all about balanced action. Picture the pelvic floor, diaphragm and upper palate as three plates of glass, each with four corners – two to the front, two to the back – suspended like a mobile on a string (the midline). Not only do you want to maintain the square shape of each planes (i.e. keep the back corners as broad as the front corners) but you want the planes to stay in proper relationship with each other and the midline. I often use this image when I’m teaching to help students build body awareness and proper action. You can see from this image that if one tips or tucks one of the planes it will mess with the “mobile” and force the other planes to tip or tuck to maintain balance.
Now, as you move the body into different positions the key is to maintain a balanced relationship between the planes and the midline.
This article is a response to a recent Yoga Journal article that advocates “tail tucking” and explains how diaphragm tipping isn’t helpful either.
You know how I’m always telling you flexibility is overrated? This article does a great job of explaining why, and how not all muscles can (or should) be stretched.
Here’s yet more compelling information about the gut-brain connection and how good gut flora might reverse symptoms of alzheimers.
This is a must-read article about “detoxing” and why I organize my seasonal cleanses the way I do. To be clear, my cleanses are not about detoxing your body in three weeks. I do advocate for “resting” your digestion and taking the load off your major organs (taking in fewer toxins means less work for the liver and kidneys which means more energy to repair and heal other parts of the body). And while I think it can be helpful to periodically support your organs with certain herbs, I never make these herbs a focus of my cleanses. I use seasonal cleanses to teach or re-invigorate good nutrition and daily habits that will last well beyond the three weeks of the course. The point is to shift your diet and lifestyle to match the needs of the upcoming season, not to “detox” the excess of the previous season.
Yoga people, I really encourage you to watch this thoughtful and informative (though somewhat unresolved) documentary about “what is modern yoga doing” from Al Jazeera.
In Other News
I thru-hiked the Pacific Crest Trail in 1999 – just a couple years after Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild. I completed the 2,600 miles from Mexico to Canada solo (which feels weird to say because like Cheryl, I met many amazing hiker-friends along the way). Cheryl writes about her short hike on the PCT during a time of turmoil in her life. The story is a compelling memoir that has more to do with poor decision making and pulling your life together in your 20’s than it does with wilderness adventure. Now that the movie version has come out many thru-hikers are worried that Reese Witherspoon will inspire scores of unprepared, overburdened young women to head down the trail in search of themselves. Which seems like a great idea to me, just be sure to throw out most of your backpack weight after the first week, don’t wear boots (except in the snowy high Sierras) and be prepared to walk a lot more than Cheryl did if you want to make it to Canada before the snow flies.
Here’s a good book review of Wild by a woman PCT Thru-hiker that nicely sums up my own thoughts about Wild.
And this one is perhaps unnecessarily harsh, but has some great links to stories about other amazing hikers that actually hiked the whole thing and enjoyed themselves while doing it.
And finally, if you are like me and need a little levity this week, here are 19 Family Photos Gone Wrong.
And the photo of the week, not gone too wrong:
In the personal news category I took my first ever trip to the operating room last month. I’ve had plenty of surgeries before to remove skin cancers but those were all done in the doctors office and didn’t require sedation or any major recovery time. Ok, now, fair warning, If you’re squeamish you’ll want skip this blog and head over to this week’s News Roundup. But if you are an athlete or otherwise healthy active person looking into a similar kind of surgery read on because before my surgery I found surprisingly little on the internet about epigastric hernia repair and recovery and I would have appreciated more information going into it. So, I’m putting the details about my surgery here as a public service to any of you fellow yogi/runner types who are looking at a midline hernia repair (I have at least three other friends with similar hernias who are also fit and active, so I know it can’t be that uncommon). In addition to the below information, Katy Bowman said some interesting things on her recent podcast about the related condition of diastasis recti (the separation of abdominal muscles that often happens during pregnancy).
What causes an epigastric hernia?
Epigastric hernias is a loose definition for any holes in the fascia above the navel. I most likely acquired mine during my pregnancies when I spent nine months simultaneously puking, gaining weight and maintaining an aggressive backbend practice as recommended by my former yoga teacher who was in retrospect terribly unqualified to work with pregnant women. Truthfully I was probably predisposed to overloading this particular area of my body as I have always had a strong lordodic lumber curve and only recently learned how to support my abdominal area by engaging some key intrinsic muscle groups. Throw some violent puking and deep back bending on top of that inherent weakness and the resulting forces exceeded the limits of my linea alba. I kind of noticed something funny looking above my belly button after my second daughter was born, but being consumed with the tasks of new parenthood I wasn’t too concerned about my postpartum bikini-figure. A few years later, when I finally had time to look in the mirror I noticed that the a funny lump above my navel was bigger. The hernia wasn’t causing me any pain, but it appeared as though a small bit of fat had squeezed it’s way out from behind it’s protective layer of fascia and was trapped
there under my skin (making the bump). It stayed like that for several more years but seemed to get worse the year I learned to swim – which makes sense because when I was learning to swim I still had a major sway back and my belly popped forward. I remember feeling a lot like a copepod that whole first season. I wonder if copepods get hernias? Then one day this fall I bent over to one side to pick up something heavy and that’s when it started to sort of, just a little bit bother me. I began to wonder, what happens if I’m in the middle of nowhere (as I like to be) or in the middle of a crazy hard training season and all of a sudden my midline just gives way and my insides bust out and there I am on the side of some dusty trail, or worse, the middle of the Gulf of Maine, and my abdominal wall just totally gives way and my liver and pancreas come flying out?
Ok, back to reality.
The trust is, nothing really bad was likely to happen but every doctor I asked about it over the years told me that eventually I’d have to sew it up. No one could explain exactly why, but being surgeons, I think they just feel better when things are sewn up.
I opted to have the surgery the day before Thanksgiving because Jerome had the next five days off and would be available to split and carry fire wood while I recovered on the couch. I was anxious about having general anesthesia because my twin brother has a terrible reaction to it and it can take him a week to recover just from that part of surgery. Plus, I’m scared of intubation, and if you ever had me as your EMT, you are too (sorry about that). Fortunately my surgeon agreed to local anesthesia and sedation. Which turned out to be lovely. So lovely that I don’t remember a thing after getting onto the operating table. For the first time in my life I was happy to be completely unconscious. I woke up soon after they stopped the flow of Propofol (a sedative that also causes temporary amnesia) and I sat in my recovery chair feeling more relaxed and at ease with the world than I have ever felt before in my life. I can see why Michael Jackson overdosed on this stuff, it is lovely. It also left me with the craziest case of cotton mouth and I spent the rest of the day drinking water and trying to choke down little bites of food. My daughter helpfully suggested a green smoothie, but I opted for ice cream. Yup, never going to live that one down.
I didn’t end up taken any painkillers even though they gave me a horses-dose worth of hydrocodone. Yup, they just hand that shit out. There are a million reasons why this is just wrong. Totally wrong. For one, pain, like the kind you have while recovering from a minor surgery, is a good thing – it keeps you from moving too much while you are recovering. For another, if you have so much pain from a minor surgery like this that you need narcotics to manage it, something is wrong. Like maybe they accidentally left a sponge or clamp inside you and they’re hoping that you’ll be too doped up to notice? And finally, supplying Downeast, Maine with a steady stream of narcotics has caused us all kinds of problems – problems that far outweigh the need to help clam diggers, farm workers and injured yoga teachers sleep through the night.
Anyway, it was awkward turning over in bed, and I couldn’t get out of bed or off the couch without assistance. I had to really work to not engage my abdominal muscles, which meant no coughing, sneezing or laughing. Given how hard it is to NOT use abdominal muscles during every day activities, I don’t understand why we don’t all have a 6-pack just from getting in and out of bed, sitting on the toilet and walking to and from our cars.
The third and fourth days post-surgery I started going on longer walks but I had to go slow to keep my gate smooth and keep from jolting my stomach muscles. The fourth day I walked about four miles and was feeling much better. On the sixth day I took a spin class and on the seventh day I went on a 4-mile run and felt no painful sensation at all. Since then I have happily and comfortably returned to my regular 50k training program.
The only noticeable side effect from the surgery that I can still feel is that my diaphragm is “stuck”. I can’t take a deep easy belly breath and as a yogi this is quite maddening. Dr. Sarah helped unstick something last week and I got my breath back for a few days, but now I’m stuck again. The other thing is that I can’t backbend much yet, and I’ve been warned against sit-up-twisty things for at least another 4-weeks. That’s ok, I can live without criss-cross for another month.
Overall it was a much easier and more comfortable surgery than I was expecting. The surgeon said she sewed up three (or four?) holes which she described as a “swiss cheese hernia”. She was a lovely surgeon, but her wording made me think of a study I read about recently that looked at how the doctor’s word choice can affect patient recovery (I’ve lost the link, but if you know the study I’m referring to, please comment below!). Fortunately I believe in the resiliency of the human body and it’s ability to adjust and adapt and I’m not too worried about having cheese fascia. Better than spam fascia right? But just in case, I’m going to give myself a year to rework some old patterns that might have contributed to this mid-line weakness. So, no full-ironwoman, 100km races or crazy acrobatic yoga this year. Though I’d like to work up to a few 50km races and maybe one or two 50milers if all goes well. Oh, and this race. Because you know I can’t resist running up something big at least once a summer.
Move Your Body
It probably comes as no surprise that one of my favorite undergraduate courses was comparative vertebrate morphology. In particular I loved the fanciful (though also sometimes eerily accurate) idea that ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny. The idea that we carry within us the fishy memory of gills, the lateral undulation of salamanders or the wisp of a monkey’s tail. And oh, that hyoid bone, what a fascinating floating remnant! Well, here Leslie Kaminoff explains the phrase and how it relates to the primary and secondary curves of the human spine.
Not all of you are Facebook fans. But if you are, and you like Wildopenheart’s page you’ll see videos like this more often. At least watch to the part where he almost drops back from handstand into a one-leg backbend but then comes back up without touching down. It’s lovely to watch in the same way that it is fun to know that Ellie Greenwood can run 100k in 7 ½ hours. It’s nice to celebrate our fellow humans who are able to so beautifully combine physical talent and effort.
If you have participated in my seasonal cleanses you know I am not a fan of vegetable oil. This article explains how refined vegetable are likely contributing to inflammation, heart disease and cancer.
Another one of my Seasonal Cleanse imperatives – don’t eat after sunset – get’s some affirmative press in this New York Times opinion article.
And finally, even if you haven’t done one of my cleanses you likely know how obsessed I am with the relationship between our inner and outer ecosystems – well this New York Times article makes an important point about human microbiomes – there is no one perfect ecosystem. Just like our global ecosystem, the health of the human population likely relies on diversity, adaptability and ultimately, evolution.
Read this commentary on the Ashtanga Picture Project and replace the words “pose” and “yoga” with the phrase “sitting in a chair” and you’ll understand how problematic this post is. Yoga poses are not divine commandments and they are not configurations immune to the limitations of the human form. That pain and suffering you feel when you externally rotate your hip and internally rotate your knee? That is not all in your head, nor is it caused by your flawed anatomy or lack of spiritual development.
The idea that your body is limited by your ego is not new, though one could equally argue that ego-attachment is a necessary condition of embodiment. The idea of mind-over-matter becomes problematic when it is embedded in the context of a striving, power-hungry yoga world and guided by a confused mashup of Karmic teleology, Blavatskian Theosophy, Jungian psychology and the body-ego detachment of the Yoga Sutras. If you agree that a torn meniscus is primarily an ego problem then you must to be willing to see that belief all the way through to its logical end: homeless, friendless, childless, posessionless and ultimately preferenceless. Which (thankfully) means you won’t care if you can do that pose or not.
Now here’s the thing, I totally understand where this author is coming from. I have gotten significant delight from pushing beyond my preconceived, ego-limited notions of what my body can do. But in all cases, where I felt this joy (or freedom) it was because I was feeling that way throughout. Yes, I might be suffering from extreme fatigue, or even pain, but there is no sense of masochism or worse, spiritual striving in that experience. I am not pushing through to attain a higher level of freedom from what I am feeling in that moment. I am not ignoring pain (knowingly) to achieve some kind of post-race bliss that includes an operating room. That’s the key – as householders that have chosen to live in society, to serve our families and communities and ultimately the world, it does not serve us to surrender to the disintegration of the physical body – as yogis, as athletes, as caregivers, we owe it to this egoic world to remain physically functional.
Also, it’s a sweet promise, but I assure you, whatever freedom you find on the other side of that “dark night of the soul” is fleeting. Last time I checked, most modern yogis, having worked through a dozen or more injuries over the same number of years, are not now floating around in a detached state of blissful samadhi. Of course if they are, they wouldn’t be here on the blogosphere to write about it.
We need to think long and hard about why we choose to push our bodies in any particular way – be it running faster or further, sitting for 10 hours a day, or putting a leg behind our head. These things in and of themselves are not virtuous, nor is the striving. So what are they?
If you are as curious about this as I am, you can help Matthew Remski continue this conversation by helping to fund his new book here.
Natural History Musings
When Jerome and I met I (half) joked that he would need to court me by bringing me blue things. Here’s why.
Picture of the week: